Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
