First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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