My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
