I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
