all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
