we're blogging at a bar
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
50% drunk capacity currently
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
