Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
