she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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