Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
