woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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