just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
