she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
