My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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