So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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