I want to make a zoo with you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
