Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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