"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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