Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize