tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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