i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
