Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize