I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
