He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
