i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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