Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize