Screwed.edu
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she smelled like a LAN party
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
