I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
