How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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