she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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