I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
