We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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