i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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