Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
