It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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