honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
