Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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