You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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