and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just pee around me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
