About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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