so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
