I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
