He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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