I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
