well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
