i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
