so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
