Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize