Dual....:-)
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
