not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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