Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
