i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize