Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
