she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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