You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
