i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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