Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
