singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
MIDGETS
????
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I deserve this hangover.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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