someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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