fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I could make wine with my vomit
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
