either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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