do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
