I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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