i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
