yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
