I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
