i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
bring money and cleavage
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
