You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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