Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
