stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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