i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
