We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
