i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
