I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
