I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
