Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
